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On Our Way, Soon!

Mike and Marlene's Meandering Misadventures of Middle America…

Well, it's been a wild ride since March 1st, when I officially retired. Crap that was just ninety days ago, holy cow!

As the next few weeks rolled by, we watched the world descend into chaos. Everyone was panic-stricken looking for Lysol products and single-ply toilet paper if they could get any. The mobs cleared shelves in places that tend to be out of bread, milk, and eggs in a weather event. This was different. Now it was toilet paper. Who would have ever thought?


We kept our focus on the prize, that being able to sell our house. We engaged a local painter. Costly, but well worth the expertise. Thank you, William Stang. Three weeks later, yes, in the middle of all this virus mess, we had the bedrooms re-carpeted. I never thought much of the contractor's Lowes used, but these two were excellent, in and out, three-rooms of carpet, in a few hours. All the while, we were shifting furniture and stuff into boxes, plastic bins, donating items, or taking them to the trash heap. We finally got the proverbial STUFF to a minimum. You know those pesky knick-knacks you have not dusted in three years, yea that stuff. George Carlin was right, and we just proved his theory on stuff.


As the calendar kept moving and I was watching the virus statistics, something encouraging began to happen. Warm weather and the numbers peaking at the same time just wanted to make me run naked through a field of blooming crabgrass, ripping my pesky mask off.


Ok, not your form of dissent? How about that sneaky thought of yours, about not wearing surgical gloves, or god forbid, not pressing the metal clip at the top of the mask so you can damn well breath.

Yea, lady, I'm walking the wrong way in the grocery aisle, what are you going to do about it, huh, huh? Sue me, call the police, watch out or I will block your car in with unsanitized shopping carts, how about that, huh, huh?


Well, that is my tirade on COVID.


Re-opening and warmer weather became a sign because up to now, even the R.V. parks were closed. We had no place to go except a Walmart parking lot. The sun started to shine, and positive things were signaling us to start. We signed on with a realtor, not really expecting much as we knew the activity would come this summer. We were, at minimum, wanting to get to an open house in late June.


We had an MLS listing a few days after we had spoken and had pictures taken. Then, the same day the listing was up and running, we had a buyer wanting to see the place. A bit shellshocked, we sat in the R.V. hiding, while another agent and their clients toured the house and property. They were here for the full hour. They left at 7:30 PM, we had an offer of the total asking price by 9:30 PM.

Things so far are holding, and we hopefully will be on the road as FULL-TIME RV'ers by July 1st.


Little things we were holding off on are all in play now, new tires on the car, a tow bar rig for the vehicle to flat tow, behind to Beast. A gas grill we can carry with us. We did decide against a trailer or a tow dolly, too cumbersome to deal with. All four wheels of the car on the ground are easily managed.

Now we are down to what's going, stocking the Beast and laughing about what we thought we could take versus reality. We are finding out now what we really can't take because of space. I would say downsizing is probably the hardest part of this entire ordeal.

No, I don't need all these tools, no, we don't need a dining service for twelve, and so on. Four Tupper ware containers, not forty.


Then came a decision we had not really been able to see clearly. We know this is not forever, we will want to get off the road at some point. Somehow tooling around in a motorhome at one hundred and three, years of age, not the speed, that's my endpoint goal. I have said that a while now, so that's how old I will get too. At any rate, we calculated out a storage locker. We decided on purchasing our own enclosed trailer that can be moved around. We have a place to park it for nothing, so it made sense. Thanks, Randy, and Donna. We put in all the heirlooms, family pictures, and other things we would want when we get off the road, going into something that doesn't move.


Now for a little more sticker shock but not.


The current overnight R.V. park is an average of thirty dollars. Do the math for a full year. Uh-oh, no, RV-ing is not free to park except at Walmart or specific Federal Lands in the west. Not doing Walmart. Maybe a Cracker Barrel since I can get some decent bacon in the morning, though.

There are Fulltime Membership clubs, you pay overtime, or upfront, and spend less than the average overnight per year. The beauty of this membership is that it is in perpetuity. It is a lifetime thing, it will pay for itself the first year out. Convoluted pricing plans, but we sought a Sherpa Guide to see us through it. The guide was another bright spot in the world of customer service., but their Schnapps carrying rescue dog knew the way, sadly he was under the weather and could guide us. So the adventurous Mike and Marlene's Meandering Misadventures of Middle America went with the human element and found it a pleasant journey.


(to be fair, Brandy and Jim were remarkable in their knowledge of the Thousand Trails programs, want a referral, let me know. They were referred by RVLove, a full-time RV'er, and blogger.)


Anyway, the blogs will pick up as we hit the road and experience the RED, WHITE, and BLUE of our country.



P.S. working on an exciting adult novel of a group of neighbors getting clear of this virus. So far, it ranges from a south seas type living on an exclusive Caribbean island, dealing with Cuban gunboats, modern pirates, Sandinista’s from the Regan era, and oh yea, Nazi hunters. Leave it to me to tie them all into one thrilling adventure book. Move over Tom Clancy and Stephen King.

Oh, yea, by the way, this one may well be a bit on the ADULT side, so be forewarned.  

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